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9th March, 2015. A couple of headlines on the BBC News caught my eye this morning: Cameron pledges 500 new free schools and Queen’s message hails ‘precious flame’ of Commonwealth.

David Cameron, Wikimedia Commons

David Cameron, Wikimedia Commons image

First Cameron. I didn’t read the detail of this latest promise because what I know is (a) they are not promises, they are pre-election rhetoric and (b) I am fed up with all the so-called promises I’ve been reading about over the last few weeks: promises to build more houses/schools/hospitals; promises to reduce tax for the poor by raising the Personal Allowance/increase tax on the rich by imposing a mansion tax; promises to hold a referendum on whether we should exit the EU; promises to reduce immigration; promises on this, that and the other, none of which can be kept by those making the promises. No, I’m sorry. I’ve switched off until May 7 has been and gone and we see what sorry state we’ve landed ourselves in with the post-election politicians, many of whom have never worked in a proper job and who see Parliament as a soft road to unlimited expenses, an undemanding workload and rampant cronyism.

The Queen, Wikimedia Commons

The Queen, Wikimedia Commons image

Now to the Queen and her Commonwealth Day message. I’ve commented in the past about the stupidity and futility of these types of messages (Fingers to the Keyboard) and this latest offering from the Queen plumbs the depths of rhetoric, bombast and hyperbole. The message is overloaded with what I call superlative subjective adjectives qualifying unqualifiable nouns embedded in statements that are so trite and blindingly obvious that we wonder why she even bothers to say them. We read:

One simple lesson from history is that when people come together to talk, to exchange ideas and to develop common goals, wonderful things can happen. Er, yes. I can agree with the sentiment of the sentence, as banal as it is, but wonderful meaning to invoke wonder?

… world’s greatest technological and industrial achievements … Greatest? How defined?

… group of 53 nations of dramatically different sizes … Why dramatically?

We are guardians of a precious flame, and … Is this an attempt at injecting the prose with a little poetic artistry? Hmm …

These (conferences and games) are stirring examples of … Stirring in what sense?

I am not a fan of the British Royal Family – in fact, I usually describe it as a parasitic anachronism on benefits – but this latest message is simply awful and certainly not awesome.