This is Part 5 of a 5-part series on bathroom products.  Series titles and links are as follows.

Part 1 shower gels.
Part 2 soap, deodorants and toothpaste
Part 3 shaving creams and foams (and female condoms)
Part 4 toilet rolls
Part 5 predictions on new bathroom products (this blog)

Note: Part 6 on hair care products may never be written.  I never use them and it’s a vast subject with more pseudo-scientific mumbo jumbo than you can shake a stick at.

Part 5 Future Product Predictions

Based on an in-depth analysis of the development of genderised products for use in a bathroom, I predict that the following new even-more genderised products will be announced within the next five years:

  • Two new ranges of men and women shower gels with emphasis on armpit and private parts’ body hair (the Hairy Potter and George Bush product ranges)
  • Separate shampoo for male armpits (both male and female in Germany) called Shampitty, and for pubic hair surrounding private parts (Mandruff, Bushwacker).
  • Separate gender-specific toilet rolls for pre-teens (decorated with alternating images of Barbie and Superman), teens (extra-large rolls for girls because nobody has ever figured out why they use far more toilet roll than anyone else in the family), and adults (blue for men, pink for women, grey for those who can’t make up their mind).
  • Separate toothpaste for cutters (incisors) and grinders (molars) accompanied by separate cutter and grinder toothbrushes, manual and electric.
  • Different shaving creams for face (men and women), armpits (women only), legs (women only) and private parts (men and women).
  • Separate deodorants for armpits (unisex), popliteal fossa (kneepit), and crotch (Xtreme for men, Sensitive for women).
  • A complete new range of bathroom products targeted at transsexual , hermaphrodite and transgender users and marketed by a new bathroom products company called Let God Bring Transformation (LGBT) Ltd.

And for those of you too lazy to look up marula and argan oils (mentioned in Part 1), here is what they are:

Marula oil is harvested from the kernels of the exotic fruit that grows on the Marula tree found in South Africa and Madagascar.

Argan oil is a plant oil obtained from the Argan tree, endemic to Morocco.

Now you know!