Black: variety empty rhetoric
Almost black: variety divisive statement
Very dark grey: variety evasive answer
Dark grey: variety might be true statement
Mid grey: variety undoubtedly true statement
Light grey: variety sound policy statement
Very light grey: variety self-adulation
Almost white: variety hyperbole
White: variety outright lie
Now throw in a handful of the following additional corns ostensibly to add extra colour and spice to the flavour but which only serve to detract from the overall flavour of the peppercorn mix:
Yellow: variety unnecessary sarcasm
Light brown: variety answer irrelevant to the question
Dark brown: variety repetition of word or phrase
Light green: variety barb to the opponent
Dark green: variety very short pregnant pause
Pink: variety half truth
Shake the grinder vigorously to thoroughly mix up the corns. Upend the pepperpot and grind for two minutes onto a clean white sheet of paper. Look at the accumulated sprinkles of very small pieces of pepper and extract just the dark grey, mid grey and light grey pieces. If you succeed, move these pieces to another piece of paper and reconstruct a coherent structured peppercorn that metaphorically resembles a structured policy based on clear thinking, provable facts and obvious statesmanship. Impossible, huh?
This is how Donald Trump came across to me as I listened on the radio in the early hours of this morning (UK time) to his head-to-head exchanges with Hillary Clinton in the first of three presidential candidate debates.
God bless America—really!